It just
so happens that myself and a few co-workers were able to take a free trip to Las
Vegas this past week. So while there I thought why not do a review that is in
high demand but, info not easily found.Â
Which is the best casino to take a dump?
Well this was not easy to do, in the first place I am by no means a high roller.
So this meant walking from place to place. Here is a bit of free advice for you
all who have never been but, plan to go. The casinos (on the strip) look close
together, when in fact its their enormous size that gives this false impression.
Its so long we think instead of calling “”the strip””, we decided that
“”the striiiiiip”” was a better name. So pack some good shoes and lots
of socks.
To start off, the places we reviewed where all open to the public and no special means
were used to access these facilities. The bathrooms were rated on, cleanliness,
look, function, overall comfort, and amenities. Grades were given from A+ thru F.
The Crew: Mr. Pantolinoes, Matty Blue eyes, and Johnny T. Each were good
testers, stuffing themselves at the buffets in order to test the facilities to
the max.
” ”
Grade F
Binion’s Horseshoe (downtown) bathroom located near poker area.
This
places was scary. The florescent lights were only half working so the
place was very dim. I had this vision of being mugged and left to die, like in
some cheap B movie. The whole bathroom is small and very unclean, which was a
surprise since
Binion’s is the home of the world championship of poker. The only good
thing I can say is that the toilet had alot of power, flushing with
ease and could suck an arm off if needed..
Grade C
Riviera
(Strip)
Downstairs bathroom, near to hotel check in.
The glitz
of years past have hurt the Riviera bath rooms again bad lighting, but it was
still good if you wanted to read something. The toilet again was powered very nicely
allowing for large loads. But the toilet paper is of poor quality and is hard to
get off the roll. The restroom was clean and on a whole very nice. However, the temperature
was rather high which made it hard to truly relax.
Grade F
Mermaids
(downtown) Bathroom in back.
So dirty and smelly it is not even worth going into detail. If you really have to
go and you are downtown go into the Golden Nugget.
Grade A
Caesars Palace (Strip)
This palace has bathrooms built for a king. The bathroom near the theater where Celine
Dion performs is a little hard to find at first, that’s because its located one
floor down, in a sunken oasis, these wonderful facilities are a short escalator ride away. I think
this is a great idea, having the bathroom in the center of everything but at the
same time out of sight. When you go in you may be a little shocked not to find
any toilets but a short right hand turn reveals all the amenities. The men’s
room is split off so that if you are washing your hands you do not see anyone relieving
themselves. The urinals are separate from the stalls , which I think was done to
keep lines for the stalls and urinals organized and defined. There is no restroom attendant but
there is a speedy cleaner so that the area is kept very clean and odor free. No auto flush commodes
here but the sinks and urinals both offer the high-tech feature of auto flushing.
2 ply toilet paper, that easily spun off the roll. The seats are very comfortable and the temperature
was perfect.
Bellagio
A+ (Strip)
When you spend 1.8 billion dollars on a resort, then you know some coin is going to be dropped
in the bathroom.
We looked at 2 bathrooms in this super casino. Coming from the shops if you keep walking toward the main
cashier you will be there quickley, once you arrive at the cashier take a left turn and go around
till you find the bathrooms. The other is nearest the wonderful Bellagio buffet,
if you want good food this place is for you. To get back to the bathrooms, these
places are nice. From the walls to the stalls. Clean must be very important to
management , as expected these bathrooms have a full time attendant (but not the wash your
hands for you ones, which I do not care for personally.) However, these
attendants keep the place clean and the sinks dry. Besides clean, the toilets
were comfortable and the paper was 2ply. Also the temperature was cool but not
to the chill point. The only thing we could think of to make these bathrooms
better was a tv on the stall door, maybe sports or casino information. Beyond tv’s the
Bellagio has got perfection down.
Mirage
B- (Strip)
(but points were deduced for unclean bowls and porn cards in the bathroom.) the
mirage is a great tropical casino with wonderful decorations , this theme flows
into the bathroom with cabana style stall doors and elegant marble. However, the
bathroom near the wonderful buffet left much to be desired. Several of the
stalls were unclean and stopped up. The walls of 3 of these stalls had multiple
call girl flyers and gang signs on the doors. The temperature in the bathroom
was very warm and the airflow was poor. On the good side, there is a shoe shiner
waiting to do a wonderful job at making your shoes glow. There is also a
restroom attendant, but his job must be more stocking than cleaning. The toilet
paper is 2ply and the seats that were clean were very comfortable.
On a bad note: at the buffet, the receipt from the buffet has the full credit card number
on it. Not the row of x’s and the last 4 digits like most places do. Since this
is Vegas, I would haves expected more protection against credit card theft. So beware!!
